Updated: Dec 9, 2020
Les Brown says this quote that I love, " Other people's opinion of you does not have to become your reality."
What is evident now is, Do you remember who you were before other people's version of you became your reality?
We see examples of this action on all social media platforms and hear it in the voices of friends, family and colleagues. The long term effect of not dealing with reality increases one's lack of self confidence, self-worth and dissatisfaction with life.
Today you will learn how to identify the reasons behind your actions, which motivation you are using and how to use three magic questions to address the reasons behind your actions and how to change your behaviour by challenging your mindset.
Fear sometimes prevents all of us from dealing with reality and when you consistently avoid the truth, your body, heart and mind feels the weight of the unresolved issues. Those issues when left untended can turn into unidentified stressors, anxiety or depression.
The emotions and feelings in life over any circumstance point directly to the challenges that are to be addressed. When the issues are solved the weight is lifted for you have tended the old wounds.
Understanding how motivation plays a big part in the ability to solve the challenges that prevent people from moving forward is the key to creating and living the life you want to live.
The everyday choices we make in life greatly impact our individual quality of life. Period!
Yes, I know, this is a harsh truth. The sooner it is understood the faster one recognizes what they are capable of.
It is an active choice to stay in limbo pretending to be something you were or something you are not. It is an equal choice to address what is not working and choose to actively take the steps to go in the direction of where you want to be.
I remember one of the most challenging steps I took was moving to Sweden. My friends, family and business associate thought and shared how leaving Florida would be a terrible choice. I had an entire system set up to care for myself and my son. I asked myself, can I create a equal or better support system for Z and me in Sweden? What is it exactly that I am scared of?
I felt alone!
The decision was on me and so were the consequences. You know how I love to plan things out. Part of creating that plan was asking myself three questions that directed me in addressing the fears around moving to Sweden with my son. After answering the questions and the ones that followed, then I was able to make a clear plan with room to pivot when needed.
These three questions will increase your quality of life and change the perception you have around the traumatic story or experience that is keeping you from being you.
1. From what past experience do the emotions or fears come from?
2. Is the fuel you are adding to the emotion or fear intrinsic or extrinsic?
3. What are you going to do about it?
Understanding the difference between intrinsic, which is something that is natural valuable or essential to you verses extrinsic which is coming or operating from outside of you. Knowing what these two words means identifies what fuel you are putting on your needs, goals or request. Is fuel coming from you to please you or is that fuel coming from what everybody else you know, but you, wants for you? My advice, always be true to you.
In my practice clients use these questions and identify the fuel to address the past and present challenges of life with great success. Know that as you learn to apply these three questions into your life too, that it will take practice to turn steps into actions and over time your effort and consistency will pay off.
Now, sit down and take the time to access those moments in your life that are weighing you down, bringing tears to your eyes or preventing you from fully being present within yourself and living your life.
If you find doing this practice on your own challenging, schedule a complimentary thirty minute call with me and together we will discuss and plan solutions for your personal development.
Understand that every question you answer will bring up more questions. Follow the process with each question until you feel a sense of release and your mind is clear.
Take the time to grieve those moments of your life that left you lost and unsettled knowing you now have clarity and a new outlook on life.
We are all here for a short amount of time. Wasting it ruminating on the Coulda, Shoulda or Woulda's of life is a sad existence of which you and only you have complete control over.
Your life is a culmination of your choices.
In what direction will your next decision take you. Your story is never over. There is always another chapter you can write.
Tell me how applying those three little questions in your life story made you pivot and take a new direction.
Remember: when we value ourselves, we value each other.
Click here to learn more tools and gain confidence in navigating your everyday life.
Blog # 16
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