Have you ever asked yourself what is holding you back from achieving what you want?
When we begin something new, there is always some level of excitement and then something happens. You get injured or tired or it takes longer to get to the end result than you anticipated.
Yep, all of those things are true, but have you identified what is the real challenge?
When you are not pursuing what you want out of life then, there is a deep seeded wound there and it is hurting you. It is preventing you from fulfilling what you want. Today you will learn how to identify what it is, learn to use one tool and move on.
Each and everyone one of us has one thing we have always wanted to do. A place we have always wanted to go to. A career we have dreamed of doing since we were children.
What is that one thing for you?
Did you say it aloud?
Why have you chosen to keep dreaming through life? I know it sounds cliché but is it that you are afraid to fail?
There will always be a lot of failures on the path to attaining what you want in life.
Knowing how to identify the challenge and address the fear moves you in the direction of attaining what you want. Plus having a plan, knowing your motivation and being consistent.
One of the foundation principles of my practice was taught to me by Martha Beck. The process of searching for the challenge behind why you are stuck. I call it Open, Connect and Grow.
When we Open the door to healing, we are addressing the challenge of the past or present moment, we acknowledge the feeling, emotion or fear surrounding the challenge. We Connect, by becoming accountable and responsible to the reality of what is. We Grow, as we gain insight, learn a lesson and move on as you have faced the reality of the challenge and get to what you want.
Creating this diagram and filling out the four circles is literally the map to get you from where you are to where you want to be. I will walk you through using the open, connect, grow process and I know, you too, will master solving for your own why’s.
Take out two pieces of paper and a pencil or pull up a document tab in your laptop or tablet.
Draw four circles one inside of another or. Make each circle wide enough to write within.
In the center circle write down what you want to achieve. In the second inner circle write down your fear around having what you want ( the challenge is always a person, place or thing). In the third outer circle, write down why you are afraid of addressing the fear. In the fourth most outer circle, write down all of your emotions and thoughts about getting to what you want.
Wait, I have a tip to get you past your emotion.
Before you begin, take a few deep breaths. This will center you and make you feel safe, secure and grounded. 3 Deep Breaths is a wonderful breathing technique to move past your emotions and thoughts and get you focused on the fear that is directly in front of you.
Now, grab the second sheet of paper and draw four columns. Create four columns on the next page of the document form from your laptop.
You have passed column number 4 because you let your emotions and thoughts move through you by using 3 Deep Breaths. Move on to column 3.
On the top of column number 3 write the word Fear. Fear leads you directly to the challenge...
Ask yourself- What are you afraid of?
Write it down.
What else? There will be a few more thoughts or questions around why you are fearful of getting to the challenge. Answer them honestly. This is where you hold yourself accountable.
I know it is scary and I also know you can work through this.
Once you have completed column number 3, look at circle number 2 in your diagram.
Circle number 2 is the challenge. Owf, this will be tough!
Once you identify this you are one step closer towards working towards what you want.
Ask yourself- What is the challenge to getting to what you want?
Is your challenge a person, place or thing?
Continuing your education?
Moving to a better job market?
Learning a new skill?
Having a difficult conversation with a family member, friend or colleague?
Write it down.
What is the next step for you to take?
What is the next step?
Continue taking small steps and stay focused on the end goal which is what you wrote down in the innermost circle where you wrote down you and what you want.
These steps are about making an outline to a plan which will drive you directly to what you want.
If you find doing this practice on your own challenging, schedule a complimentary thirty minute call with me and together we will discuss and plan solutions for your personal development.
That is the open, connect and grow process that gets you from where you are to where you want to be.
As you move forward pursuing what you want out of life, know that there will be other challenges. Such is life!
You will try something new, you will get excited and instead of staying stuck and stopping when something happens. The open, connect and grow process is your new tool that will guide you in identifying what is standing in your way and create a space for you to pivot and move on.
Remember: when we value ourselves, we value each other.
Click here to learn more tools and gain confidence in navigating your everyday life.
Blog # 20
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