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The 3 C's of a healthy relationship

We plan every aspect of our wedding and honeymoon, down to the tiniest detail.

Have you ever wondered how to create and enjoy a healthy relationship with your spouse?

It is a hard question to process! Let's take this step- by- step and do our best to find a solution.

The 3 C's are a great place to start. Let's identify and define them.

1. Compromise- to settle a dispute by mutual concession.

2. Commiment- is being loyal and williing to give your time and energy to something you believe in.

3. Communication- is the process by which information is exchanged between individuals.

The foundation of every relationship is built on both you and your spouses ability to clearly communicate your wants, needs and desires. How you both effectively compromise after stating your boundaries and choosing to agree or agree to disagree on the topic of the moment is equally important. Remember there will be millions upon millions of individual moments throughtout your relationship. Taking the time to learn new skills is part of improving your life through applying self-management skills.

Most importantly, know and understand that by using the 3 C's and being consistent in this practice you and your spouse are well on your way to being commited in constantly creating a solid healthy relationship.

Let's put this new tool to practice!

Research shows modeling loving relationship is possibly one of the best things we can do to help set our children up for future relationship success. What happens if that is not the case for you?

Grab a notebook, tablet or phone notes. Helpful tip! Take time to write down your thoughts, emotions and experiences along with which tool you used, when you used it and how it worked. This process allows you to keep yourself accountable to using your new tool as well as having a metric to measure your success.

Take a moment of self-reflection. Envision how you are modeling, acting, talking or behaving in the same manner in your relationship as your parents did in theirs. Do you like behaving the same way? Ask yourself, "How do I act, talk or behave with my spouse?"

Be specific and write it down!

Write down exactly what behaviours you want to correct, why you want to correct your behaviour and how you will respond moving forward.

This is the Why and the How of changing ones behaviour. When you witness yourself acting in a manner you want to correct. Ask yourself! Where in my life did I pick this habit up? Why am I acting or behaving like this? Once you identify the why, then you can work on the how. How do I want to show up for myself in my relationships?

For example, the most common fear based reaction is speaking with a hurtful tone. Yep, a tone can be vicious and shut down any opportunity of speaking respectfully and openly with your spouse. Once you identify, within yourself, why you feel defensive come back to the reality of the moment, bring your attention to the misunderstanding in the argument. Use the 3 C's to remind each other you are commited to resolving the problem at hand by communicating clearly, concisely, respectfully and with the objective of finding a solution.

It takes a lot of practice because it took a lot of practice to act, talk or behave the way you do now.

Be patient and remember to hold yourself accountable for your own behavior because you are in complete control over how you choose to react or respond in any given situation.

With patience you will strengthen your commitment in the marriage, improve how you communicate with one another, and perfect the art of compromise by constantly improving your healthy relationship.

Now go use the 3 C's. The benefit of practicing is you automatically start thinking about how you want to show up in your marriage and begin being the exact person you want to be.

To learn more tools and gain confidence in navigating your everyday life.

Blog # 31

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