Updated: Nov 5, 2020
Commitment is strategic and hopeful. It waits for you everyday. Hoping. Longing for you to get up and do what you say you will do.
It is tragic because so many dreams are left scattered on the floor due to the lack of it. We are all like the two sides of a gold coin, at times, focused and driven or fall flat and roll off to the side of what we want.
Commitment is the difference between failure and success in everything that you do.
Whether in relation to you, your partners, colleagues or friends. Commitment is tricky for some and lacking in others at the moment there is a challenge. You know what? The first person that it destroys, is you. Let’s get into why?
Commitment is all about using your willpower to stay consistent with what you want for yourself. When you aren't, the person that you are hiding from is your true self.
Think about it! When your relationships are easy, working and going well we use words like dedicated, devoted and loyal to describe them. Words like responsible, obligated or burden are used to describe the person, place or thing that is preventing you from getting what you want.
Is your challenge knowing what you want? Or is it creating a plan and following through? Putting a plan in place allows you to see what you will gain for your efforts as you stay committed to achieve them. It won’t always be easy but you will see the goal line ahead.
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Let’s work through three common examples by designing a plan to attain what the individual wants and are committed to doing.
Have you lost your inner sparkle? The lack of commitment to ourselves happens first. That is how you lose your inner sparkle by stopping the things that make you happy. Begin by thinking about what you did before all of the responsibilities of the life you are choosing for yourself got in your way. Then create a way to integrate that into your life by using a daily or weekly routine. Did your sparkle come from exercising several times a week? Did it come from the weekly dance or art classes you were taking?
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Lack of sex is a common concern in relationships. The question is how are you creating intimacy. Sex follows intimacy. Begin by sitting down and speaking openly and honestly with your partner about what were the things you did. Yes, it is tough and maybe even embarrassing but stay committed to the process and ask for what you want now. Is it sitting down together and having long existential conversations? Schedule a time and commit to it just like when you commit to driving the kids to soccer practice.
Make it a ritual and create a space for the two of you to be alone. Have those conversations or whatever you two decide. It’s all about connecting with each other. Connection creates the intimacy that will lead to...
Did you have a disagreement with a coworker? What triggered you?
You know that triggers are always unresolved experiences from your past! Was it the specific tone of voice used or was it that your idea was shot down? First address what bothered you about the situation. Once you can identify why it bothered you and you have made peace with yourself. Ask the coworker to sit down with you and discuss what bothered you about the situation. Be open, honest and stay focused on the topic of either tone or why your idea was shot down. Most of the time people are caught up in their own lives and they don’t even realize how they came across. This is for you powerful as it shows that you are committed to your own self development.
The truth is challenge comes in committing yourself to the everyday consistency that will get you what you want out of life.
It takes time to build up the commitment muscle. Be easy but consistent with yourself. The process is all about creating the awareness in your relationships by creating space to have open and honest conversations. Being vulnerable is a great strength. Vulnerability directs you to the next step you will take by being honest with yourself and addressing why you stopped being committed to you in the first place.
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