Hey You!
Did you know that we experience twenty-seven emotional experiences every hour. In Travis Brandberry's book Emotional Intelligence quick book, he shares that in the course of a seventeen hour everyday, we each experience four hundred and fifty-six emotions in a day.
Now, think about that for a second! Every day we each experience 456 emotions. That is three thousand every month. That is one hundred and fifty thousand emotional experiences every year. That means, whatever you are holding on to from last week, last month or twenty years ago is hanging out with you, too.
Do you know what anxiety is? Anxiety is having a prolonged thought. Something that is constantly playing over and over again in your mind.
Where does a ruminating thought come from? A ruminating thought is something that happened to you which elicited either a fear or apprehension response, which you are choosing not to deal with.
Sometimes, it is something you are afraid of and you are not sure how to get past it.
STOP IT!! Stop being anxious. Solve the problem.
There are many daily challenges we each experience throughout the course of a day, week or year. In today's blog, we will use three examples as working models, identify the fear and find a solution that solves the problem.
We will use the three examples you guys voted for during our recent poll.
The examples we will use are wearing a bathing suit, conflict with your partner and anything work related.
First Example: It is Summer time. Bathing suit season. Instead of having that thought. Oh my God- bathing suit season.
Yup. it is!!
On some hemisphere of the world. It is Summer. It is bathing suit season. What is your fear? Do you need to tone, lose weight, pay close attention to what you are eating or work out?
Identify, what is it? Are you overweight? Do you choose to tone up and strengthen your body or you just don't give a crap. Either one of those options work. Solve the problem! If you are happy with where you are, there you go. You let it go. And that is the end of the bathing suit season conversation.
Second example: Oh my goodness! My partner, spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend is on my last nerve. I don’t know what to do about it!? Hmmmmm, could we break up? Could we move forward?
If you are unhappy with your relationships. Stop being unhappy about it.
Take action and do something about it.
Have a conversation with yourself and say, HEY, what is it that I am looking for at this moment. Identify it. Ask yourself the questions that will lead you to getting what you want.
Why am I unhappy with my relationship? Am I unhappy with my relationship or with how I react \ respond in my relationship?
Then, sit down with your partner and have an honest conversation. Say, this is what I am feeling at this moment in time about myself and our relationship. How are you feeling about yourself and\ or our relationship? How can we work together in a way that we each have a fruitful, loving and harmonious relationship?
Now, you are not thinking about it. You are actually doing something about it.
Third example: You are experiencing a few challenges at work. You are not happy! You don't want to be without a job. You don’t know what to do, but you are stuck in this no man's land.
You realized you don't like your job. You recognize you have many responsibilities such as paying the rent or a mortgage. Being a responsible parent by taking care of your children's needs. Oh, and the most important one, you gotta put food on the table. Warranted!
Just because you are unhappy with your job at this exact moment, doesn't mean you can't do something about it in the future. So, then, start thinking about it. Write it down on a piece of paper. What is it that you want? Because, taking a little step, minimizes the fear and anxiety you may be experiencing.
Ask yourself the question. What is it about this job I don't like? Am I feeling heard? Am I, I don't know, pushed? Excited? Challenged in some way? And if that is not working, then, while you are at your job start looking at other things that might be a possibility. Figure out, if you want to be a plumber, an electrician, or you want to be a doctor. What is the first little step you gotta take to get there?
That, my friends, is how you stop anxiety. You can stop the ruminating thoughts and anxiety by taking action!
STOP IT!! Stop being anxious. Solve the problem.
So, get over the fear, it's not going to hurt you. It's gonna be a moment. It might take your breath away. But, always focus on what it is that you want at the end of this moment and SOLVE IT!!
I got tons of faith in you. You got this!!
Much love,
Vanessa
Click here to learn more tools and gain confidence in navigating your everyday life.
Blog #30
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