Updated: Apr 10
There are three lenses through which to view life.
The past, present and future.
The past is over and yet we choose to live our life through that lens the most.
The present is here and now. Most people are either living in the past or planning for the future.
The future is promised to no one and yet we place all of our hopes and dreams in that space.
Have you ever taken a moment to reflect upon your life and take a close look at the challenges that have tainted it? You know the ones where a partner was unfaithful and now every person that you date is analyzed through that experience. Maybe, your parents fought for years, got a divorce and now you believe that relationships are pointless. Worse yet, someone said terrible things to you, you believed them and now you continue to live your life through their life lens.
The interesting thing is that yes, we have all experienced one, two or three of these challenges in life. However, life is not meant to be measured by our mistakes or that of others.
The reality is that those moments, challenges or experiences were in the past and you are living here and now.
Today we will learn some handy-dandy tools to help us access, address and release all that which no longer serves us as we learn to live our life through the lens of the present.
I remember hearing a story about a woman named Fern who lost all of her self-confidence because she saw herself through the lens of her ex-boyfriends. She endured the harsh comments they said about her hair, her nose and her forehead. The comments were semi-disguised in statement such as "you should cut your hair around your face so it won't look so round", "your nose is too big for your small face and body frame". These statements hurt her to the core. She exclaimed, how can someone who loved her say these things about her?
One day she was in a heated argument and her boyfriend who said " I don't want to be with you any more because you're not pretty." Can you imagine? She is a twenty-six year old, college educated woman who is fit, smart, kind, funny and works as a financial analyst. After two years he stopped returning her calls, blocked her on both his mobile phone and social media. She was devastated and did not get closure from this relationship.
She was a very sad person and she continued dating men who judged her through the lens of her past experiences. Until she did something about it.
Every second of the day is a moment that you won't experience again. Why do so many of us keep judging the moments of the present through the life lens of something that happened in the past.
It is hurtful to the person that is with you and it is definitely hurtful to you.
Why do we insist on doing it?
Mainly because the persons are hurt themselves and they are projecting.
Learning to Access, Address and Release the pain and hurt of the past will allow you to live your life through the life lens of the present. Here is how!
We will use Fern's experience and break it down. (I learned this series of questions from Byron Katie. She offers a free guide on how to work through your limiting thoughts or
The Work on her website: https://thework.com/).
First, begin by taking 3 Deep Breaths and then accessing the situation.
Fern, ask yourself this simple question: is what this person said true?
If so, why?
If not, why do you believe it?
After she has completed those questions, she can address the circumstance by asking herself if she can or wants to do anything about it.
This allows Fern to view her life from the present moment.
Finally, Releasing that which no longer serves you.
Fern has accessed the situation by answering all of the questions and has addressed her feelings around that circumstance.
She has gained the lesson about seeing herself through another persons eyes and taking their view of her over her own view of herself.
The pain that she experienced is because what that person said was not her truth.
Are you dealing with anything from the past that is preventing you from living in the present?
Learning the simple tool of Access, Address and Release allows us to become accountable to ourselves. Are you interested in also becoming accountable to yourself, for your behavior and improving how to navigate, respond and engage with all of your relationships?
Click here and book your free Discovery Call.
Can you use this tool? Then do so!
Share in the comments below. I want to know all about how using this process has helped you.
This is what true inner wisdom looks like when we live in the present!
Calm. Soft. Centered.
It may seem difficult but the quickest way to get through a painful moment is to go right through it. Giving ourselves the time and space to grieve a challenging moment or experience is what allows us to live our lives through the life lens of the present.
In life we have many choices.
The most important one is our choice to do, to be and to live our life just the way we want to.
Remember: when we value ourselves, we value each other.
Click here to learn more tools and gain confidence in navigating your everyday life.
Blog # 13